JUNE 14, 2005

wow is been a while since i written in disz xanga.... deym so much happen this year.... that i havent written... but its ok... newho whats new is that i went shopping whid mah boyfriend bernard... over the weekend (saturday)... we went to the coach store and bought my multi colored coach purse to match my multi colored shoes... then i had my 16th birthday party... at kariktan and it was huge... i can not believe there was so much food... i was so happy that dae.... i thank my mother for my birthday party... mom... you mean so much to me and i understand how much money you spent on it.... and i feel bad nut yet i was very happy... my boyfriend however... i love him so much... he bought mee many things... i dunt even knoe if i can remember... a white purse and tagged my name on it, a beige jean jacket, a tinkerbell towel, white stunnerz, roses, and balloons. "beb.... im sorrie if i fergot something" deng... i got so much stuff and i still needs to write my thank yous and i think i am going to type it and print them out... but yea.... so many things had happened and today i had my english and spanish final and of course it was easy... however today was a tough day between my boyfriend and i but i do n ot really want to talk about it... i mean i do not know... i mean i still love him with all my heart... its just that i am very frustrated for some reason... "baybee i still love you =D" newaisz im really sad because i am going to the philippines on the 19th and i am going to miss my lover and friend so much. But for sure when i get the time i will write in this xanga... thats if i can get on the computer over in the philippines... newaisz im done for writing but i need to write my baby something really quick.

Dear Beb,

i do not know where to start... either apologize or get angry... i guess all i really want to do is say i am very sorry... i mean from what happened today wouldn't you get a little frustrated also? i mean for one second put on my shoes and imagine how it feels on my point of you. beb you knoe i will always love you though because of course you are my everything. Beb... i'm not that frustrated about our argument today between us... u knoe what i mean. what really bugs me is how you don't give me enough of my freedom but i do understand that i am leaving but at least give me my space... because i need it... or i would get mad like i always do i mean come on beb you knoe i was taking anger management and then i need to take it again. beb just please understand me. i love you. "i love you more than words can explain." *about to smile* Beb, you have me always and forever.... no matter what i just want everything to be ok... you know what i mean (you, yer bro, ehn me/ the argument). i am truly sorry for always getting mad but you need to understand that i do not get mad for no reason. anyways i hope you forgive me. =( beb.... are we still going to go to waterworld?!? smiles.... i want to have a wonderful time with you before i leave. and i hope nothing changes between mee and OUR family =D i love you talk to you soon....

LOVE YER GiRLFRiEND,

VANESSA CRUZ

JUNE 6 , 2005

got in to a fight with at dude... socked dat bitch in the face but he was so tall that i got his lip instead... it was black and blue... enough said.... btw... i miss you baby... see you soon hun... i love you so much... more thank werds can explain... yer my sexy beast! argghhh! i love you. =D yer baybee is funna get tan fer you.... hehehe

lovin mah baybee always ehn forever....

Nessa

[[CURRENTLY IN ARIZONA]]

DCMBR0504...

..oh shit howd i get up in here.....oh well....WAIT this be my bheb site huh?..well since im here might as well say some things..if you dont mind it bheb.....well hmm how do i start this.....hmmmm...well actually im intended to says something to you but like i got no words to explain how i really feel..i mean shoot there aint no one word in the dictionary that can describe how i feel inside...wow bheb you know its been one month...but..deng i feels like weve been together for months...first of all bheb...i just wanna say that true....i was scared to get into a relationship with you because i was thinking..yeah probably just another girl that wouldnt feel the same the way as i would for her.....and well i got to know you.....and i found that i started to love every little aspect about you...you eyes, your lips, your hair, your hands.....your personality....i found that i did start to fall for you but i got a little scared cause i didnt know if you felt the same way....i had to ask friends to find out how you felt about me...and well later on i started to feel it back i mean i knew in my heart that you started to feel the same way...and well up til now..even through rough little parts..i got to know you and understand....that truly and forever...do wanna be with you...i mean no matter how hard i think...i cant find myslef with someone else.....i mean ive practicly gave my heart to you i dont think theres anyone else for me...i mean all im trying to say beb...is....i love you with all my heart..and that id hate to lose you..i love you bheb...i mean i will...always and forever...Mrs. Cruz...*knock on wood*.love you.....well i got to go because your getting mad at me.....i love you....mahal na mahal kita.......MMMMMMMUUUUAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

NOVEMBER 24, 2004

mah dearest bheb,

its finally been one month... i love you...bhehb, you made mee see things i`ve never seen before... u touched my heart in every single way ehn im glad u did. u changed mah werld from being upside down to rightside up... before you entered mah life... mah life was a blur... i was lost, confused, ehn didnt care anymore about ne realtionship because i've been hurt so many times... i always gave my heart out but sumone always had to break it... i always believed dat mah past relationships would last a lifetime... that they were "the one" i would spend my preasent ehn future with but i guess i always thot wrong... i mean i thot that there would never be another guy to walk in my life ehn show mee love again... i thot it was impossible but it isnt... i guess mah mom was riote ehn i thank her fer giving mee advice..." there are many guys out there... you will experience alot with them... you are able to love more than once" ehn another advice from mah favorite nark, BiLL from concord high skoo.. "even though the guy broke up with you and you thot it was the end of the world.. it really isnt... it onlee means there is someone better for you out there... someone that shall treat you like a princess..." ehn bhehb you are that someone... that someone i can call my own... my boyfriend, my protecter, my partner, my lover, and my best friend... you are "the one" for mee... ehn this time i knoe its fer shuree... you are the one that i will spend my future with... yer the onlee person i long for and desire... you made mee fall in love again ehn proved mee wrong with mah own thots... u changed mee...in a good way... i knoe there may be times we would argue or i would argue with you ehn always irritate you over the littlest things but deep down inside you knoe that i love you with all my heart... bhehb you got mee... hehehe remember that one time wen you came over mah house ehn we were singin kareoke ehn stuff... lol ehn den i ran downstairs ehn fell? hahah i was fallin fer you bhehb *smiles* you knoe yer smilin dunt hold it in... but yea bhehb mahal na mahal kita... sana malaman mo kung gaano kita kamahal... ehn sana mamahalin mo ako katulad ng pagmamahal ko sayo... hahah str8 up tagalog! im better than you! lol jae kae bhehb..well not rilli *cheeses* meng you dunt knoe how much i miss you riote now... i wish u were here to hold mee tiote ehn kiss mah lips on "our special dae" but yer not here but its okie i will see you soon... ehn i kant wait till that dae wen i see yer smile... because seein you happy makes mee happy ehn seein you cheese makes mee wana cheese... i love you, i care for you and most of all i trust you... i mean das wut mostly a relationship is about riote? without that you got nothin... bhehb... do you remember the ferst time we saw eachother? remember? elisse`s cotillion... wen you danced whid mee... well yea i jes realized dat it seems like you were sent to mee from god... like an angel... you knoe why? because i was jes dancin ehn den suddenly i turn around ehn you appear out of nowhere ehn asked mee if i wanted to dance... ehn i couldnt resist so i did... at that very moment we connected fer like a few seconds and then my mind was drifting off to someone else... dunt wana mention ne names... but das jes da thing... love is blind... ehn it was bhehb because mee ehn you were meant to be together ehn that very ferst time we saw eachother i wouldve never guessed that we would end up together... so love is blind because you were under mah nose the whole time ehn i didnt even notice until last minute... but yea then after that i saw you again at yer skoo... u didnt knoe but i was staring at you...trynna see...trynna remember.. if you were "that guy" from that nite... ehn i was riote, you were ehn fer some reason i couldnt stop staring at you... i mean i wasnt controllin mahself... it was like i was in a dream... but den now...mah dream came true... but dat dae i sae you at yer skoo was da last dae i ever seen you... we disappeared from eachother fer a couple of months... then YV`s homecoming came... thats wen you popped in my mind wen erryone was like "vanessa you should go to the homecoming at YV" ehn i thot who am i funna go whid... ehn you came up in mah mind but yet wen i was trynna get intriduce again to you... you didnt even remember mah name... you never knew who i was... until i told you that we danced at da cotillion... but it was all gee` cuz then we started talking... you started callin mee ehn we had long ass conversations... then as more events took place we got closer ehn closer until we became an item... ehn we both fell fer eachother... i mean i kant believe you did all those things you did fer mee... you always made mee smile... you always came to mah skoo in da mornin...put sumtin in mah locker...crack jokes... ehn you never got mad at mee... you cared for mee like no other ehn you gave yer heart to mee... *tear* bhehb you are the most understanding person i knoe ehn yer patient... das two out of a million reasons i love you... das why im scared sumtimes dat i mite lose you... because of who you are...attracts other gherls ehn i dunt want no feh`male to take you away from mee because *song* your mah everything... ehn everything is you *song* lol i dunnoe what i would do without you... i would bee torn apart... confused ehn wouldnt care about nething or noone anymore... so please bhehb... dunt walk out of my life because i need you... you are my oxygen ehn without you i would die... yer a part of mee so please dunt leave mah side... i love you bheb HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNiVERSERY...

established october 24, 2004 @ 5:57 PM at six flags marine world =D

Lovin you always,

Vanessa Angela Cruz

OCTOBER 24

ESTABLiSHED OCT. 24, 2004 at 6:00pm

OCTOBER 10

last nite was str8 koo... had fun at YV's homecomn' but yea it was kooo but the songs were jes aight... i went to URBAN WEORKS ehn kicc'd it whid portia before i got mah hair donbe ehn we went to ragzzmatazz ehn den to choice ehn den went to round table pizza... after dat we went bacc to urban works because i had an appointment fer mah hair to get fixed up... ehn den i got mah NOSE PiERCED (same place) ehn so did mah mom ha. but deng it took hella long to fix mah hair  so i got home around 4:00pm wen mah hair appointment was at 2:00 ehn BERNARD was der ehn he picced me up from mah house but i had to get readi... so i slipped mah close on ehn shiit... i wore a black halter top dress whid black chucks ehn den wen i went downstairs he had a crosage fer mee ehn he put it on mah wrist... i was like "awww how kyoote!" deng he so sweet...but yea den wen i got in da car there was a rose stittin on da seat ehn like bernard gave mah mom some roses... he thanked her  fer letting him take me out to homecomn' (awww so kyoote!) den we went eat sum food even tho i didnt want 2... it was mee, bernard, marlon, ehn stacey... after we ate we went to YV ehn mee ehn bernard took pix even tho i didnt want too again =) den we met up whid erryone d err like mah wifey christine tran ehn emily ehn da other christine ehn mike ehn neil ehn erryone else... oh yea! i saw aaron also... whid his gherl, dey were dancin but den yea after dat bernard's parents drove mee ehn stacey home ehn we were jes sleepin in da car on eachother's shoulders... cuz we was so tired =( so sleepy >_<  now isnt dat nice...awww kyoote couple huh?!? *smiles* jae kae... but den got hella tired ehn went str8 to bed ehn was knocked da fawk out...

-NESSA

* i swear... by the moon ehn da stars ehn da skys... (remember? wen we danced)*

baby yer all that i want... when you lyin hea in mah arms...